Hands

Yesterday I talked about Big's breath prayer.

Jesus hold my hand.

Turns out I have a fascination with hands totally

independent of Big's prayer.

I took this picture the weekend of Maggie's wedding.

12 years ago.

We have mine, mom's, Gaye's and Mark's.

As I recall, Dirk hadn't made his way down to the hotel lobby yet.

Hands say so much.

Mark's hands look just like my dad's, and, actually, 

Dirk's do too.

Michael's do too. 

Babies who just randomly hold hands are the sweetest.

That's Eliana and Maddie.

Super old hands holding a baby's hand melt my heart.

These are servant's hands.

There are so many stories in those beautiful hands

that I can't even begin to tell. 

Those hands have touched and helped mold so many lives.

They are beautiful.

They are works of art.

I hope these hands prove to be up to the task.

Both sets.

And then this.

We wanted something to pour mom's ashes out of

that wasn't the plastic bag they came in.

I found this ash pot, how fitting, and got the bright idea

that we should all put our hand prints on it.

I think we got us all. 

That way we all had a hand in laying mom to rest.

I kinda love that pot.

Jesus Hold My Hand

That was Big's breath prayer.

 Whenever she was nervous about something

she would pray, Jesus hold my hand.

Ava and I got the bright idea on one of Big's 

nursing home stays that we should give her 

hands as well.

The idea took off, grew feet so to speak.

Shanna had her classes make hands for Big.

Some of the sentiments were really sweet, 

some were really funny as only a high-schooler can be.

We all decided we wanted to hold Big's hand to the end.

After Big passed and mom and I were waiting for the nurse

etc, to arrive, we took down all the hands.

We sent them with Big and told them we wanted the hands 

cremated with her.

I don't know if other people would find that weird but

it comforted mom and me.

There's Big's leaf.

Right under her parents leaves.

Mom's will go right next to Big's.

Jesus has her hand.

There is so much to say about this one picture!

Can you see the Clorox wipes behind Gaye's arm?

Can I tell you how MANY containers of that 

stuff we gave away?

And how much could we get for them 

now on the black market?

There are about 100 boxes of Kleenex on those shelves.

I never quite understood why mom would

buy so much of any given item.

Toilet paper,

 (well, now she wouldn't look so goofy)

paper towel,

papaer plates,

bar soap,

toothbrushes,

the list does go on

See that gold tin above Gayes head?

That was my grandmother's sewing tin.

There wasn't a thing I needed in it and 

nobody else was drawn to it.

We each kept SO MANY things that brought

back memories that some hard choices needed to be made.

That sewing tin was a casualty of the purge.

Only months later I was at Shanna's house

and I needed to mend something.

She had to go to a neighbors house to borrow a needle!!!

I was heartbroken but then took to The Google

and found an identical tin.

Turns out it originally would have had a fruit cake in it.

I filled it with the basics and now Shanna 

has a goofy tin filled with sewing notions

and hopefully someday Quinn 

looks at it and smiles at the memories it holds.

We would just laugh as we found yet another, whatever.

And, we drank pink champagne. 

Never Know When You'll Need That Mumu Again

I came across a 

"getting to know me"

questionnaire mom had taken at some point.

It asked what her favorite vacation was

and she said Hawaii. 

I knew I had this photo somewhere.

It was taken the evening they sat at the captains table.

They hadn't thought to bring formal wear

as was expected, so

OFF to the gift shop!

Big still had her dress buried away in the

back of that endless closet!

Not sure if mom's was buried in hers.

The Quiet Times

Gaye asked me recently, 

"do you take pictures of everything?"

I'm happy to say, yes, pretty much.

Gaye and I took turns (mostly Gaye) 

spending the night at moms, 

much to mom's chagrin.

She did not like to feel she needed "taking care of".

But those morning were some of our best times together.

Most mornings I would run through Dunkin Donuts

and grab donuts and tea for Gaye and coffee for me.

Then Gaye and I would sit on the balcony and and sip and talk 

until mom would wander out to join us.

She could get FOMO just like the rest of us.

Gaye's husband, Dave, has commented 

that when the two of us get together

there is a whole lot of laughing involved.

Mom didn't want to miss out on a good time.

Some mornings we would wander back into

her apartment and randomly pick a drawer

full of treasures that we all knew Gaye and I would have

to sort through at some point.

We also all figured out it was way more fun to sift through 

all those memories with mom.

  This picture is from one of those mornings. 

Looks like we stumbled across a stash of pins.

Can you make out all the bags?

We had a system, 

there would be a 

Goodwill bag,

a recycle bag,

a garbage bag,

and a , Lord help you if your name was on the bag bag.

There were other mornings, later, when we wouldn't

bother with the balcony.

Gaye and I would sit at moms bedside

and know she could feel the warmth 

of the hugs that took the form of 

Gaye and me chatting and laughing.

Mom didn't like to be a bother.

She told me shortly after Big died that 

she would like to die by herself, no one

having to make a fuss.

I'm so glad she didn't get her way.

What a gift to Gaye and me and honestly, 

I think she was happy with it in the end too.

Great Grandma and Her Bubbles

This picture cracks me up.

You can tell everything you need to know about how mom

felt about her Grands by it.

You'll notice they are both wearing winter coats.

A parent (and to be honest maybe a grand)

would have explained to the child that is was 

too cold out for bubbles.

Mom was hard pressed to deny a great-grand anything.

 She was constantly on the lookout for some new

wacky bubble maker.

Again, coat weather.

This was taken after mom passed. 

That's Papa doing his best to honor mom and her bubbles.

It makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

 

Traveling With Mom

 

 

Mom did love to travel.

She and Big traveled A LOT! 

Their father loved to travel too. He made it to every state except Alaska.

Mom and Big did a cruise to Alaska in his honor.

This was the entire family in Disney World.

Well, except Mark, but Mark doesn't like planes and 

that's a long drive from Colorado. LOL

Dirk went up in a hot air balloon with her.

Gaye and I stayed on the ground.

We will get in a plane but not a balloon. 

 

Mark did get on a plane for his daughter's wedding.

And then we crammed him in the back of a car

with two thirds of his siblings and his mother.

So there's that.

This was mom's last trip.

We called it her Victory Tour.

Gaye sprung for First Class. 

Mom was a convert.

She would never fly anything but First Class again.

That was a little irreverent humor.

Mom would have appreciated it.