Monday, March 27, 2017

AI Scavenger Hunt

And here is the result of my 
Art Institute 
scavenger hunt.

This is Peter denying Christ as he is led away
in the background.
 This is Christ being taunted by the soldiers.
 This almost looks like a coloring book to me,
but look at the way the cloth is billowing in the wind.
And check out the little guy in the foreground.
This one kind of slams you in the gut.


I saw quite a few renditions of Christ on the cross.
Here is one that intrigued and troubled me, 
it's by Marc Chagall.
He painted it to draw a parallel between
 the crucifixion of Christ and 
the Nazi's killing the jews.
He was jewish and therefor saw Christ as a 
profit, or wise teacher.
Somehow this troubles me, 
but at the same time, 
it's causing me to think, 
and that IS the point of my whole exercise 
these 40 days.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Mary And Her Son.....

OK, now to lighten the mood a bit.
I went down to The Art Institute yesterday
to check out Whistler's mom.

Afterwards I decided to go on a bit of a scavenger hunt
to see if I could make out the whole Easter story
through art.

I came across this piece, and while it's not 
 part of the Easter story, 
it's a good story.
Jesus' first miracle.

It's the wedding at Cana. 
That's the host on the right being amazed
at the wine. 

On the left are Jesus and his mother.
I can't help but see the look on Mary's face as, 
"come on son, take care of this."
And Jesus, 
"Mooooooom."
(with dramatic eye roll)

Jesus became human so he could know our suffering.

Here's the link if you want the deets on the painting.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

I Am Remade. Every Day.


There are a million ways that
I am not like Jesus.

But here's one of the biggies:
I'm a reactionary.
You hurt me and I will absolutely react.
I wish I wouldn't.
I wish I could stuff the hurt down and carry on.
I wish I could just pray for those who hurt me,
hold my head up, and move on.

My therapist tells me, you have to address these hurts.
Holding them in will fester and eat you up.
The problem is, there is one hurt little girl 
living inside me
and when she gets hurt, 
well, she reacts like a child that has
 been hurt and doesn't feel heard.
And she does it as a grown adult.
Not pretty. 

Well, that's enough self revelation for a public forum. 
I confess these tender parts to explain 
what Satan likes to do with my hurt.
He likes to turn me in on myself.
I think, look at Jesus on that cross.
He didn't lash out.
He didn't send down lightening bolts.
He didn't curse those who hurt him.

God has been speaking to me through song 
during this rough season of my life.
I was trying to explain to Mike the 
battle being waged inside me
and then a song by
Tenth Avenue North
came on.


I am more than the choices that I've made.
I am more than the sum of my past mistakes.
I am more than the problems I create.
I've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to.

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

Thank you, Tenth Avenue North.

Monday, March 20, 2017

And Then I Just Get Dizzy.....


Going down a rabbit hole.
Ever heard of that saying?
To me, it means a train of thought that 
just turns around and inside of itself.
That's what thinking about Judas does to me.

Christ had to die on the cross.
His betrayal was foretold in scripture.
Psalm 41:9
Someone had to put the wheels in motion.
If not Judas, then someone else, right?

So, I don't mean to try to give Judas a pass,
but I just wonder....

And here my rabbit hole begins.




Thursday, March 16, 2017

Life Is Messy



God has been speaking to me through song during
this difficult season of my life.

I sat down this morning to see where God was going 
to lead me today for my lenten devotion.

This song came on and 
it did me in. 

I am worn.


Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Enemy #1

Doubting Thomas
He comes a little later in the story
but he's there and there for a reason.

There were a lot of doubters all through the bible.
Abraham and Sarah laughed at God (yikes!)
The Israelites, but come on! 40!! years!!
John the Baptist even questioned if
 Jesus was indeed the messiah.

The opposite of faith is not
doubt
but rather, 
fear.
-Philip Yancey

Doubt can help me define my faith.
It helps me strengthen it, to own it.
Fear causes me to run from it.

The struggle between faith and fear
may be one of our hardest wrestling matches.

There is fear that produces worry
but there is also fear that keeps us from stepping out in faith.


What does stepping out mean?
Mission work?
easy answer.

Giving my time and talents?
no brainer.

Showing that person who is different from me love?
that could be uncomfortable.

Cultivating a servant's heart.
You mean, don't put myself first?
getting harder.

Witnessing?
getting scarrier.

Asking God to reveal His will for my life
and then following what He has answered?
There!

No, doubt is not the enemy,
it doesn't pull me away from God.
Fear.

Sneaky thing, that fear is.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Really.


Lord, I believe, help my unbelief
Mark 9:24

We are supposed to pray with confidence 
but sometimes I wonder, 
Really God? 
Will you really do this?
Really God?
Do you have time for this?
Really God? 
Do you care about this?
Really God?
Could this be your will?
Really God?
Could you make me want your will?

Really.
Mark 9:25