Mom, The Louvre And Me

Mom had been an upper middle class

stay at home mom who volunteered,

hosted dinner parties,

and looked for all the world

like she was living the life of

Laura Petrie.

(GTS)

Then she wasn't.

She was a single parent with four kids,

a business to liquidate, 

and a house to sell.

The only job experience I ever heard her

talk about was butchering chickens

during the war.

All this to say, we were never rolling in dough.

But mom had dreams.

She used to talk about how she and I would go 

to the Louvre together.

Right.

Fast forward to my marrying Mike.

He had close relatives in Germany

so travel to Europe was a thing.

On one of our trips we made a side trip down to Paris

and went to The Louvre.

I brought a rock from the gravel outside

the entrance and took it home to mom.

Fast forward to Big retiring and 

mom and Big's Excellent Adventures.

One of which took them to 

The Louvre.

Mom brought a rock home to me.

Fast forward to Shanna studying abroad

during college.

Mom, Dirk and I went over to see Shanna

and have an Excellent Adventure.

Dirk and Shanna carried on to an adventure of their own

and mom and I had ours.

A ride on The Chunnel to Paris

and The Louvre.

Happy Birthday, Big

It's Big's birthday today. 

Her third one in heaven.

Shanna is preparing her house for sale so is 

decluttering,

cleaning out, 

purging, 

organizing.

And she came across a treasure packed away for safekeeping.

It's a book that allows you to record yourself reading it.

We had Big do it years ago, quite possibly before

Shanna even had Quinn.

It starts out with Big saying, 

"...read to you by Meme"

and a nervous little giggle.

Big was a bit self-conscious

reading to air, she would have been far more

comfortable with a roomful of first graders

sitting on the floor all around her.

But, Big was always a good sport

if nothing else.

So, she read to thin air and now

the gift of being able to hear her voice

after missing it for all these years just fills my heart

and my eyes.

Happy Birthday, Big.

Thank you for the gift.

Random Acts

 

I loaned a couple of gates to a stranger.

She returned them today and dropped this

poinsettia

off as a thank you.

What she couldn't know is that mom and Big

got me a poinsettia every year 

through a fundraiser at their church.

Somehow I was aware of when the fundraiser

was being held last year so I ordered one

for myself as support for the 

church they loved and,

 to just have one less thing to miss last year.

Well, this year I hadn't thought early enough 

to check if their church was still doing

the event this year, given Covid and all.

I'm thankful for a Father who knows my heart

 and those who act as His

 hands and feet 

here on earth.

36 Years And Counting

Big started sending me this magazine when I first got married.

Thanks to them sending renewal notices

long before the current subscription ran out,

and thanks to Big not wanting me to 

"miss an issue",

she dutifully renewed the subscriptions on

Meredith Publishing's schedule.

Big passed almost 2 years ago.

I still get 

Better Homes and Gardens.

I'm thankful for how it warms my heart

and gives me a little grin.

Love you Big.

 

October 5

 It's mom's birthday.

Some people say the first year after 

you've lost someone is the hardest.

Others will say it's that second year.

We are at the start of our second year.

The second birthday without mom.

This has always been my favorite picture of mom.

I think it was taken in the 80s.

I imagine this would be one of mom's 

favorite pictures of herself.

She was so excited to become a grandma.

Here are the three that got her rolling to

becoming the grandma of 8

and Great-grandma of 8.

We'll see how this year rolls.

I know the month leading up to the one year 

anniversary of her passing was

kinda rough. 

But this year, 

2020, 

everything's a little

extra. 

September 18

Today is the first anniversary of 

mom's passing.

Well, not actually *today*

because I am writing this a week ahead in hopes

that I stand a better chance

of getting my thoughts down clearly.

We are a motley crew.

Just about every one of us has had

issues, challenges, made some bad choices.

I probably had the most complicated relationship

with mom. But one thing I can tell you for sure,

she was always my biggest cheerleader and 

the same for every member of her family.

She was certain that any one of us could make our way

out of whatever situation we may have made for ourselves

as well as circumstances that overtook us. 

She would rejoice at our accomplishments

and be there to encourage us to fight 

the same fight over again.

She never judged.

I hope we made her proud.

 

Code Words

I've been using this forum

to record fun family history.

It may or may not be amusing to the 

world at large.

This post is one that may only get a grin

from people with Peterson DNA

flowing through their veins.

Opportunity.

Interesting.

And not used in conjunction with each other.

Opportunity was generally reserved for Dirk.

Interesting was for me.

Mom and Big loved to

present Dirk with "opportunities"

They usually involved helping a niece or nephew

with some cash.

Interesting was mom's special

description for something I would have

made or done that she maybe didn't

find great joy in but

didn't want to out and out

hurt my feelings.

Mom would have found Snap Chat

Interesting.....

The Quilted Sweater

Mom loved that sweater.

Well, I guess I don't know if she 

*loved* it.

But she did find it very handy.

I've mentioned before about the things we saved and

more disappointing, the things we did not.

Nuff said.

 

The One That Got Away

There was one other thing on mom's

Bucket List.

These are for her.

I think I'll always think of mom when 

I make my annual trip to The Walnut Room.

Bucket List

 Mom had a bucket list. 

Road trip!

I don't remember a ton of stuff from when I was very little but I do

remember family dinners at Hackney's on Lake.

We would have a long table and I would go around and 

beg for everyone's coleslaw.

The things we remember. 

But the onion loaf!!

Cue angels singing!

That's just a half loaf, leftovers of anything so wonderful

would generally be a good thing,

however, onion loaf does NOT 

reheat well.

Eat it ALL!

While all my siblings were here we decided to 

take a road trip in mom's honor.

She would have loved this. 

I Spy....

 This is one of the pictures in my "Mom" file.

The first story that comes to mind is that while Gaye and I 

decided mom needed a recliner,

we knew it would be a "limited" engagement.

So, being the sensible minded,

albeit a bit irreverent,

daughters that we are/were (?),

we asked local family members who would 

*eventually* want a *slightly*

used recliner. 

We figured we would try to take

said family members color scheme into account

when choosing the recliner.

Michael thought he and his family would enjoy it.

So, there is mom loving the recliner

and one of her first statements regarding it?

Don't tell Michael if I die in it. 

LOL

But beyond the obvious (to me) story, 

there is a wealth of other stories in here.

There's the figurine Tom and Teresa had admired and 

we gifted to them.

There's the bamboo shoot Taryn had given to 

mom and Big YEARS ago that

mom so very proudly kept alive.

There's the needlepoint church that Patty made for mom

that mom absolutely cherished.

There's that clown that mom adored but none of us could

quite embrace.

There's the picture of Breese on the deck of the 

USS John F. Kennedy when she was helping with 

relief efforts for one of our country's 

natural disasters.

There's the picture way back there that Shanna

made to commemorate a donation made

to Heffer Project in Mom's name.

There's a Mimmsy mouse, we only found

about 150 Mimmsy pieces in that place!

That stupid Cricket phone that mom

never really got the swing of.

And way up there you can just spot the edges

of two of the pictures from mom's

Victory Tour.

She loved those pictures.

Once she couldn't get out of bed any longer, I hung them

on the wall across from her head, totally too low

but perfect for her to be able to 

turn her head and see us all. 

I spy.....

 

Crepes Suzette

 And mom.

That's a menu that mom had had for AGES.

She and my dad ate there, if that gives you any clue

how long that menu has been around.

I can remember it framed on the wall at the end

of the hallway in our house on

Rollwind Road.

It's a little soot stained.

It survived a fire in the storage room in one

of our apartments.

Mom said the best breakfast she ever had was at 

Brennan's.

It was filet and crepes suzette.

I don't trust myself with a good cut of meat,

but setting pancakes on fire?

I'm all over that!!

So, I set out to figure out Crepes Suzette.

I had Gaye as my partner in crime, 

I mean, sous chef,

we made a HUGE mess and

Crepes Suzette!

( I have a video of the carnage left in the kitchen)

Mom was a good sport.

I think she ate two of them and the poor thing could 

hardly swallow or keep anything

down at this point.

This picture pops up on my screen saver

from time to time and I just look at it

and say a little prayer 

and apology.

Hands

Yesterday I talked about Big's breath prayer.

Jesus hold my hand.

Turns out I have a fascination with hands totally

independent of Big's prayer.

I took this picture the weekend of Maggie's wedding.

12 years ago.

We have mine, mom's, Gaye's and Mark's.

As I recall, Dirk hadn't made his way down to the hotel lobby yet.

Hands say so much.

Mark's hands look just like my dad's, and, actually, 

Dirk's do too.

Michael's do too. 

Babies who just randomly hold hands are the sweetest.

That's Eliana and Maddie.

Super old hands holding a baby's hand melt my heart.

These are servant's hands.

There are so many stories in those beautiful hands

that I can't even begin to tell. 

Those hands have touched and helped mold so many lives.

They are beautiful.

They are works of art.

I hope these hands prove to be up to the task.

Both sets.

And then this.

We wanted something to pour mom's ashes out of

that wasn't the plastic bag they came in.

I found this ash pot, how fitting, and got the bright idea

that we should all put our hand prints on it.

I think we got us all. 

That way we all had a hand in laying mom to rest.

I kinda love that pot.

Jesus Hold My Hand

That was Big's breath prayer.

 Whenever she was nervous about something

she would pray, Jesus hold my hand.

Ava and I got the bright idea on one of Big's 

nursing home stays that we should give her 

hands as well.

The idea took off, grew feet so to speak.

Shanna had her classes make hands for Big.

Some of the sentiments were really sweet, 

some were really funny as only a high-schooler can be.

We all decided we wanted to hold Big's hand to the end.

After Big passed and mom and I were waiting for the nurse

etc, to arrive, we took down all the hands.

We sent them with Big and told them we wanted the hands 

cremated with her.

I don't know if other people would find that weird but

it comforted mom and me.

There's Big's leaf.

Right under her parents leaves.

Mom's will go right next to Big's.

Jesus has her hand.

There is so much to say about this one picture!

Can you see the Clorox wipes behind Gaye's arm?

Can I tell you how MANY containers of that 

stuff we gave away?

And how much could we get for them 

now on the black market?

There are about 100 boxes of Kleenex on those shelves.

I never quite understood why mom would

buy so much of any given item.

Toilet paper,

 (well, now she wouldn't look so goofy)

paper towel,

papaer plates,

bar soap,

toothbrushes,

the list does go on

See that gold tin above Gayes head?

That was my grandmother's sewing tin.

There wasn't a thing I needed in it and 

nobody else was drawn to it.

We each kept SO MANY things that brought

back memories that some hard choices needed to be made.

That sewing tin was a casualty of the purge.

Only months later I was at Shanna's house

and I needed to mend something.

She had to go to a neighbors house to borrow a needle!!!

I was heartbroken but then took to The Google

and found an identical tin.

Turns out it originally would have had a fruit cake in it.

I filled it with the basics and now Shanna 

has a goofy tin filled with sewing notions

and hopefully someday Quinn 

looks at it and smiles at the memories it holds.

We would just laugh as we found yet another, whatever.

And, we drank pink champagne. 

Never Know When You'll Need That Mumu Again

I came across a 

"getting to know me"

questionnaire mom had taken at some point.

It asked what her favorite vacation was

and she said Hawaii. 

I knew I had this photo somewhere.

It was taken the evening they sat at the captains table.

They hadn't thought to bring formal wear

as was expected, so

OFF to the gift shop!

Big still had her dress buried away in the

back of that endless closet!

Not sure if mom's was buried in hers.

The Quiet Times

Gaye asked me recently, 

"do you take pictures of everything?"

I'm happy to say, yes, pretty much.

Gaye and I took turns (mostly Gaye) 

spending the night at moms, 

much to mom's chagrin.

She did not like to feel she needed "taking care of".

But those morning were some of our best times together.

Most mornings I would run through Dunkin Donuts

and grab donuts and tea for Gaye and coffee for me.

Then Gaye and I would sit on the balcony and and sip and talk 

until mom would wander out to join us.

She could get FOMO just like the rest of us.

Gaye's husband, Dave, has commented 

that when the two of us get together

there is a whole lot of laughing involved.

Mom didn't want to miss out on a good time.

Some mornings we would wander back into

her apartment and randomly pick a drawer

full of treasures that we all knew Gaye and I would have

to sort through at some point.

We also all figured out it was way more fun to sift through 

all those memories with mom.

  This picture is from one of those mornings. 

Looks like we stumbled across a stash of pins.

Can you make out all the bags?

We had a system, 

there would be a 

Goodwill bag,

a recycle bag,

a garbage bag,

and a , Lord help you if your name was on the bag bag.

There were other mornings, later, when we wouldn't

bother with the balcony.

Gaye and I would sit at moms bedside

and know she could feel the warmth 

of the hugs that took the form of 

Gaye and me chatting and laughing.

Mom didn't like to be a bother.

She told me shortly after Big died that 

she would like to die by herself, no one

having to make a fuss.

I'm so glad she didn't get her way.

What a gift to Gaye and me and honestly, 

I think she was happy with it in the end too.

Great Grandma and Her Bubbles

This picture cracks me up.

You can tell everything you need to know about how mom

felt about her Grands by it.

You'll notice they are both wearing winter coats.

A parent (and to be honest maybe a grand)

would have explained to the child that is was 

too cold out for bubbles.

Mom was hard pressed to deny a great-grand anything.

 She was constantly on the lookout for some new

wacky bubble maker.

Again, coat weather.

This was taken after mom passed. 

That's Papa doing his best to honor mom and her bubbles.

It makes me happy and sad all at the same time.